Last night it finally happened. The thing that I have longed for for so long. My hearts cry. The deep-rooted structure of my existence. The joy of my heart. One of the top three reasons I'm alive. The pay-off...the reward...The Promise.
For so long I have fought, prayed, fasted, cried, yelled, made hard decisions, bit my tongue, given up only to jump right back in the next day and worked my fingers to the bone to break a generational curse. A very unfair and unforgiving curse that, if left alone, would/has destroyed lives and relationships. Not just any relationship. The relationship between a mother and a daughter.
Everyone has a yearning to be accepted and close to their mother. No matter how buried under hurt, anger, unforgiveness, pride...whatever the sin...that innate longing is there. You can try to deny it, ignore it or explain it away...but it's there. Oh how broken a life is when one believes they are not loved by their mother. The Lord certainly loves those that feel abandoned, rejected and unloved, but those feelings of abandonment and rejection prevent us from accepting His love. We tend to believe the lie of the enemy that says, "If your earthly mother doesn't accept and love you, why would a mighty God truly love you?" Oh the downward spiral that can/will come from those dark feelings and beliefs. You can try to separate yourself from them, but you ultimately wear them like a smothering, heavy, wet, wool coat on a hot summer day.
Unfortunately, those beliefs often stem from a mother that doesn't know how to effectively love their child because their only example of how to be a mother is the twisted one shown to them by their mother. I like the John Mayer song that says, "Girls become lovers that turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too." That song reminds me that I'm teaching my own daughter how to be a woman-of-God, friend, wife and mother. Any hurts, unhealthy characteristics or generational curses that I have battled must stop with me.
I'm blessed that I have a mother who identified curses passed down through our bloodlines and began breaking them. Her determination to battle the enemy and break those curses has made it easier for me to make the decision to continue her work. Yes, I believe that she can begin breaking those curses, but I have to choose to continue walking in freedom of that curse. Sin crouches at our door. It is always ready to pounce on us. Therefore, a generational curse continuously crouches at our doors...waiting, hoping, scheming for when we let our guard down. Many times I have let me guard down. Too many times I chose to walk in the curse. Sometimes I didn't realize I was doing it until it was too late...carelessness will get you every time. We have to be so intentional with our lives, our thoughts, our words, our actions.
It is when we become intentional that we begin to see God's promises fulfilled in our lives. The promise that if we raise our children the right way, when they are older they will not depart from it. The promise that a Godly heritage will be passed down for a thousand generations. The promise of prosperity, love, peace, joy, protection, hope, etc. when we love and obey the Lord. Then there are the personal promises that are just for you and yours. Those sweet promises that He whispers in your ear when you sit at His feet. Oh the sweetness of the day when the Lord fulfills His promise to you. Oh the tears of relief and joy that flow.
At last, the fervent prayers of this righteous woman have been answered. The curse has been broken. My sweet daughter proclaimed, "I am thankful for the close relationship I have with my Mom and Dad." She knows that I love her! She is the apple of my eye. My beautiful little Sweet Pea. My lovely Song Bird. A wonderful combination of me and Richard. A very loving and caring young woman with a heart of gold. A daughter of the Most High King.
Now...I guard that promise...for the enemy wants to destroy it. Unfortunately for him, I am a lot like David. I have pursued what is rightfully mine. Not only have I taken back my relationship with Tori, I'm here to collect a lot more.