I need to be here...
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. ~ James 1:2 (MSG)
We're in the process of selling our home and buying another one. We chose to buy an existing home because we knew the challenges of building a home would just simply be too much for Richard and I to handle. We knew that selling and buying a home would not be easy either. We prepared ourselves in our minds for what "could" be ahead of us. We found the home that we knew God was calling us to and pursued it cautiously. (He had actually showed us this home two years ago and we've been patiently waiting for the right time.) It's much easier to follow Him and trust Him when things are going smoothly.
Like I said, we cautiously moved forward because in our eyes this home was more than we could imagine ourselves having the honor of purchasing. We didn't want to make a wrong move. We prayed, we cried (ok, I cried), we even tried to run away. (Have you ever tried to run from a blessing because you just couldn't phathom that God would bless you with such a tremendous gift? Oh, how our carnal mindsets will rob us if we let them!) I remember the first time I "saw" this home. I had grown up in the neighborhood and never once paid a bit of attention to that house. But then one day, I saw it and said to myself, "I could only dream of having a home like this one day. Man, we could do so much with this home. It is beautiful." Little did I know that God was birthing something in me that day. In all reality, God was the one that clearly started this. He has made His hand known so many times through the process. Who am I to close the door on one of His works? Deep in our spirits, we both knew that this larger home was not really about us...it's about His ministry. It's about being disciples and making disciples. Sure, we get to enjoy the perks of the home...but ultimately, it is being set up in our lives as a tool of ministry. So, to run from this home would ultimately mean running from His calling of ministry on our lives. I've done enough of that lately...I'm not interested in doing it again. (Please reference the above postings if you would like to hear about my latest Jonah moments.)
Here's the fun part...the brighter spot of this whole thing...we immediately began praying for the perfect buyer for our home. We wanted our home to truly bless someone. We kept that in mind over the years as we made updates to the house. We prayed and prayed over that house. We attempted to put it on the market but before the realtor contract could be signed, it was already sold. Hours...our house sold within hours of me mentioning it on Facebook. The Lord was already preparing one of my sisters for the house. Selling the home to her has been so full of the richness of God's presences. I'm not kidding. It has been wonderful completing a few projects, knowing who we were doing them for. It has been great having conversations with her about the home. She has been so flexible and giving with us on deadlines, etc. Things moved so quickly with this transaction. How wonderful for her. BUT the enemy has certainly tried to sabatoge this home. Contractors don't show up when they are supposed to, they charge more than I like to think they should (although some blessed us like crazy which helped offset what some of the others did), things within the house that have never given us a bit of trouble are now breaking. Sometimes, you just have to laugh and keep walking...
The transaction of purchasing our "new to us" home has not gone so well. Dealing with righteous people makes a difference in life whether it be business or pleasure. I have not handled the ups and downs of this rollercoaster ride as well as I needed to. "...You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors..." Well James, the pressure from all sides has revealed a lower level of faith than I thought I had. I've had lots of "professional development" in faith building, clearly I needed a bit more. Some days have been harder than others. There have been days that I wanted to run away (again). There have been days that in the natural it didn't appear that it was going to work out. Today, if I choose to look at the situation through natural eyes, it looks like it may not happen. However, My Father started this...He will certainly finish it.
I realized today that through this all, my faith is deepening. Today, when things look as though they are falling apart and the enemy is attacking our existing home in hopes of stopping us from closing this week...I simply laugh and keep walking. My Spirit is laughing in the enemy's face. My Spirit has said, "I will not be denied". I take joy in what the Father is doing in me through this situation. I love the maturing that I'm seeing take place within me. I love the possibilities of using what I have learned to teach others. I love how at the end of the day, I may not know exactly where I will be sleeping on July 16th but My Daddy knows....He's already made the bed for me and is waiting to tell me good night. He holds my world in the palm of His hand...He can most assuredly orchestrate me moving out of one house and into another home. All along the way, I mature and become the womand of God He wants me to be. I get to learn new things to help my future life group members. I will be a better leader for them. I will be a better mother, wife, friend and employee. I will be better prepared for the trials and challenges that come my way...
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