On The Battlefield Of Life

Almost every day is a fight for something on this battlefield called life. Some days we get by without too many struggles. Those days are like cool drinks of water on a hot, balmy day. We try to enjoy them when they come along. What a blessing to sail through a day and be able to tuck ourselves into bed that night with a smile, sigh of contentment and a “thank you Father”. However, sometimes we mindlessly go through them without stopping to “smell the roses”. How selfish of us to carelessly take little to no notice of those easier days. What a blessing from the Father when the pavement seems to rise up to meet our feet. When we hit every green light. When we catch a mint-condition pair of designer shoes on the 75% off clearance rack. (Taking into consideration that we really need them and have the extra money to purchase them.) When our kids come home with 100% on their spelling test and no homework for that night. When our toddler finally decides it’s time to start using the potty. When the checkout line at Wal-Mart is short. When we receive a check in the mail because we overpaid a bill or when we find a considerable mistake in your checkbook that turns out to be in our favor. When our husband calls us just to say “I love you”. When the phone doesn’t ring off the hook and our email inbox isn’t filled to the brim with messages. When our sister-prickle seems to have left her quills at home that day. When that quick and easy recipe you got off of the Internet turns out to be a hit with your family. When you can remember your memory verse from last week and your quiet time with the Lord was amazing. When the barista at our favorite coffee shop makes our drink with absolute perfection. When it’s cold and rainy after work and you have a full tank of gas in your car that allows you to drive home without stopping at the gas station. Here’s the best one…you were able to fix your hair without any fuss and it looks great! Oh, and those designer shoes you bought on clearance go beautifully with the outfit you’re wearing that day.


Some of those are rather shallow things but my point is that we miss those neat, little things that help make our day less of a battle. I’ve found many of those things to be blessings in my life and I try really hard to take notice of them when they happen. It is so important for us to enjoy and draw from those breaks in the battle. The battles we face on a daily basis can sometimes be daunting. The battlefield is an ugly place. When I think of a battlefield the mental image I get is not one of joy or pleasure. To me, it’s a dirty place. It’s grimy. It stinks. It’s a place where you’re surrounded by death and/or injury. It’s a place of weariness. It can often times be a place of confusion and overwhelming attacks from the enemy. Sometimes it’s a place of utter defeat.

James 1 talks about “count it all joy…the trying of your faith will bring you patience, endurance and strength”. Thanks James, that’s exactly what this girl wanted to hear. Count it all joy? Really? When you look at the gut-wrenching, dirty, strength-zapping battles we often face, “joy” isn’t the first thing that pops into my mind. It’s more like “Ugh”. Many times I have found myself in a place of defeat…far, far from that place where I can count it all joy. There have been days where you could have found me in the fetal position under my desk at work. Maybe I wasn’t exactly salt and light in the Wal-Mart checkout line. Maybe I missed a chance to help my fellow soldier because I was too wrapped up in my own fight. Worse yet, at times I just gave up right there in the middle of the battle. I just sat right down and waved my little white flag and let the enemy run smack over me. After all, I didn’t go looking for a fight, the battle came and found me. It wasn’t fair. How/why did it happen? (Talk about being a whiney baby…no wonder I lost so many battles!) Folks, I missed the opportunity to “count it all joy” far too many times. It was hard for me to see that the trials I was tackling were actually strengthening me. The enemy was able to way-lay me because I went into the battle unprepared.

This battlefield of life is no place to be if we’re weary, empty, unprepared and naked. Our enemy roams around like a lion, ready to devour us. He fights dirty. He hits us in our weak spots. He uses the ones we love in his battle against us. He loves using the element of surprise. He uses guerrilla warfare. There is no place in your life he won’t attempt to attack. There’s no sacred time either…he loves attacking at the most inappropriate times. His goal is not to strengthen our patience and endurance. His goal is to kill us. We help him in meeting his goal when we attempt to go up against him unprepared.

A warrior is always prepared. They train daily. They are always on the lookout for the enemy. They know how to respond at a moment’s notice. They get up every morning and put on their battle gear. They fill themselves up on life-giving food. We tell our kids that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We convince them that going about their day on an empty stomach makes them weak and ineffective. What makes us think that same principle isn’t true for our spirits? Being a warrior is not just a physical attribute. It is a mindset. It takes a huge heart. It takes endurance, power and determination. It takes knowing who you are in Christ so that you can stare the enemy in the eyes and say to him, “This day I will fight!”

Only Through the Power of the Holy Spirit

I'm the mother of a 6-year-old boy.  A boy that I waited almost 10 years, after the birth of my lovely daughter, to have.  I had no idea what I was missing until I held that big ole' boy for the first time.  Up until that first encounter I was afraid that I would not love him as much as I loved my Tori.  The second I saw his face, I was head-over-heels in love.  Since that time Mr. Reid has brought so much love, joy and adventure into our home.  He is full of witty insight, enthusiasm, hugs and energy.  He literally transformed the atmosphere of our home.  And the relationship I have with him is so very different from the special relationship I have with Tori...and I deeply cherish them both.

It's because I am the mother of a boy that I can't help but think of Mary during this time of year.  Just the thought of putting myself in her shoes makes me begin to hyperventilate.  We all know that it is really through the power of the Holy Spirit that we get this whole parenting thing right...but think about her.  Here she is in a culture that takes purity before marriage EXTREMELY serious (the way it should be, by the way).  She's young, innocent and has a promising future with a man named Joseph.  In her mind, I bet she was pleased because "this is the way it's supposed to be"...every girls dream.  Then everything changed.  It was the power of the Holy Spirit that caused life to form within her.  It was the power of the Holy Spirit that led Joseph to believe that she was still the pure and innocent woman he had asked to marry him.  And it was the power of the Holy Spirit that continued to confirm the holiness of this little one after his birth.

It would have to be the power of the Holy Spirit that sustained her throughout His life.  As she held Him and looked upon His face for the first time, the Holy Spirit was there with her.  Not only did she have the regular "new mom" emotions coursing through her veins, she also had the knowledge of the fact that she was looking upon the face of a holy child.  Little did she know what that would later mean.  Every parent has hopes and dreams for their children, but did she dare dream for Him?  She must have wanted to.  She couldn't help but get lost in His sweet eyes and in His smile.  Yes, she was a woman...therefore she was naturally inclined to dream and love and bond deeply with her child.  I can imagine that at the same time, the Holy Spirit gently whispered into her spirit thoughts of guidance and hope for this little one.  Yes, He was certainly special but His greatness was incomprehensible.

Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?  Mary could you have ever dreamed so large that you realized He would one day rule the nations?  Mary did you know that the child that you just delivered would soon deliver you?  No...Mary...bless your heart...you didn't know...but the power of the Holy Spirit kept that check in your spirit that something amazing would result from the birth of this child.  And it would be the power of the Holy Spirit that would carry you through the toughest time of your life.  It was the power of the Holy Spirit that helped you find Him when that little sucker got lost in the temple.  It was also His power that helped you not feel so foolish when you realized that it was you that was lost, not Him.  It was the Holy Spirit that helped guide your words when your other sons made fun of Him for believing He was God.  How many times did you pop them in the back of their heads for mocking Him? How often did you go in to say His bedtime prayers with Him and find yourself amazed, filled-up and blessed when He prayed?  And on the darkest day of your life, tt would only be through the Holy Spirit's power that you could possibly watch your son being crucified.  You were a woman, not a god.  No woman could bear that type of burden and sorrow without His intervention.  That was not what you had dreamed!  That was not the way it was supposed to be!  The images of Him helping Joseph in the carpenter shop were burned in your mind.  How bittersweet they must have become on that dark day.  How many times did you call out "WHY" to God?  How many times did you envision yourself attacking the Roman soldiers?  Did you want to pluck out the eyes of the priests?  How did you keep from running out to take His place?  Oh to hold Him just once more.  To wisk Him away to a hiding place and tend to His wounds.  How you must have wanted to protect Him.  The anguish must have been overwhelming.  Just as feelings of helplessness overtook your thoughts, did the Holy Spirit begin His perfect ministry within you?  I have no doubts that He did because that's just how wonderful and loving He is.  As the blood of your Son was washing away the sins of the world...your sins, Mary...the power of the Holy Spirit was with you.  And when your precious son arose from the grave 3 days later...it was only through the power of the Holy Spirit that confirmed what you were seeing and hearing.  It was then that He whispered to you His confirming word, "Yes Mary, this is the way it was supposed to be."



When The Promise Comes To Pass

Last night it finally happened.  The thing that I have longed for for so long.  My hearts cry.  The deep-rooted structure of my existence.  The joy of my heart.  One of the top three reasons I'm alive.  The pay-off...the reward...The Promise. 

For so long I have fought, prayed, fasted, cried, yelled, made hard decisions, bit my tongue, given up only to jump right back in the next day and worked my fingers to the bone to break a generational curse.  A very unfair and unforgiving curse that, if left alone, would/has destroyed lives and relationships.  Not just any relationship.  The relationship between a mother and a daughter.

Everyone has a yearning to be accepted and close to their mother.  No matter how buried under hurt, anger, unforgiveness, pride...whatever the sin...that innate longing is there.  You can try to deny it, ignore it or explain it away...but it's there.  Oh how broken a life is when one believes they are not loved by their mother.  The Lord certainly loves those that feel abandoned, rejected and unloved, but those feelings of abandonment and rejection prevent us from accepting His love.  We tend to believe the lie of the enemy that says, "If your earthly mother doesn't accept and love you, why would a mighty God truly love you?" Oh the downward spiral that can/will come from those dark feelings and beliefs.  You can try to separate yourself from them, but you ultimately wear them like a smothering, heavy, wet, wool coat on a hot summer day. 

Unfortunately, those beliefs often stem from a mother that doesn't know how to effectively love their child because their only example of how to be a mother is the twisted one shown to them by their mother.  I like the John Mayer song that says, "Girls become lovers that turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too."  That song reminds me that I'm teaching my own daughter how to be a woman-of-God, friend, wife and mother.  Any hurts, unhealthy characteristics or generational curses that I have battled must stop with me.

I'm blessed that I have a mother who identified curses passed down through our bloodlines and began breaking them.  Her determination to battle the enemy and break those curses has made it easier for me to make the decision to continue her work.  Yes, I believe that she can begin breaking those curses, but I have to choose to continue walking in freedom of that curse.  Sin crouches at our door.  It is always ready to pounce on us.  Therefore, a generational curse continuously crouches at our doors...waiting, hoping, scheming for when we let our guard down.  Many times I have let me guard down.  Too many times I chose to walk in the curse.  Sometimes I didn't realize I was doing it until it was too late...carelessness will get you every time.  We have to be so intentional with our lives, our thoughts, our words, our actions.

It is when we become intentional that we begin to see God's promises fulfilled in our lives.  The promise that if we raise our children the right way, when they are older they will not depart from it.  The promise that a Godly heritage will be passed down for a thousand generations.  The promise of prosperity, love, peace, joy, protection, hope, etc. when we love and obey the Lord.  Then there are the personal promises that are just for you and yours.  Those sweet promises that He whispers in your ear when you sit at His feet.  Oh the sweetness of the day when the Lord fulfills His promise to you.  Oh the tears of relief and joy that flow. 

At last, the fervent prayers of this righteous woman have been answered.  The curse has been broken.  My sweet daughter proclaimed, "I am thankful for the close relationship I have with my Mom and Dad."  She knows that I love her!  She is the apple of my eye.  My beautiful little Sweet Pea.  My lovely Song Bird.  A wonderful combination of me and Richard.  A very loving and caring young woman with a heart of gold.  A daughter of the Most High King. 

Now...I guard that promise...for the enemy wants to destroy it.  Unfortunately for him, I am a lot like David.  I have pursued what is rightfully mine.  Not only have I taken back my relationship with Tori, I'm here to collect a lot more. 



Very Random Comments

Has it really been over a month since I was here last?  Wow, time is flying by way too fast.  We are quickly approaching the holidays..and I'm just now starting my Christmas Music Concerto.  I'm way behind!

I can't say that I've got some profound block of text to type up here.  I'm known as the Queen of Randomness, so I'll just put down a few random thoughts.

• I've done two ladies encounter retreats this year and instead of being tired...I want more!
• I've been missing friends that have moved off A LOT here lately.  Why God?  Why can't they stay right here with me?
• I'm reading Christian fiction again after refusing to read it because it steals away my time in the Word.  I'm teetering on the edge of having to remove it from my house once again. :(
• I still follow several children with terminal illnesses through Coles Foundation.  There's this one father that is hopelessly lost and I want more than anything to show him the only true source of hope.
• I'm still believing for several families in my life to receive Christ.  Lord help me continue to be salt and light.  I will not give up...you hear me?  I will not give up.  I will knock until there's a hole in that door.  I will plead until the angels have to carry me out of the throne room because I've been there so long. :) (Yes, I know that would never happen.  In fact, He's wanting to know why I'm not praying more.)
• I'm so stinking proud of Reid and Tori.  They are both doing so well in school. AND they are both growing in the Lord.  Reid is showing improvement in wanting to attend church and I sometimes here him singing praise songs in his room.  I love walking in to Tori's room and seeing her reading her bible...I caught her in Titus the other night. What teenager reads Titus? :)
• I continue to battle with getting wrapped up in my own little life, doing my own tasks, keeping my own schedule, etc.  I have to fight to think of others.  That is SO NOT the mind of Christ.
• I'm doing better with memorizing scripture.  I took my struggles with memorization to the Cross.  Amazing how that works. (ha!)  I even have a little spiral book of scripture index cards in my purse.  Ssshhhh....don't tell Jenny.
• The Lord is so dog gone faithful.  I love Him.
• I'm thankful the elections are over.  I'm sick of hearing, "...and I approve this message."  I'm also thankful for Romans 13:1 that reminds us to submit to the authority of the land and that God establishes all of those authorities.   Hhhmmmm...well, I guess I'll be correcting some of my attitudes now...  BTW...that's one of my memory verses.  I didn't even have to look it up...it just came right to me! :)
• I'm working on being thankful for what I have and not focus on what I don't have.
• I must be salt and light where ever I go...

"There Is No Other I Love More Than You"

I always depend upon my husband to introduce me to new music.  I don't always like what he likes, but more times than not I find myself stealing the new CD's from his truck and putting them in my car.  (Ssshhhh...don't tell him...) Not too long ago I got ahold of his Deluge CD.  Great stuff...I highly recommend their "Unshakable" CD! 

So one night, not long ago,  I'm listening to #12 Come In My Courts...my all-time favorite on the CD.  I've listened to this song 101 times in the past...over and over and over again.  (Yes, I'm one of THOSE people!)  When suddenly one line of the song jumps out of the speakers and grabs me by the heart.  The line is, "there is no other I love more than you".

Earlier this year the Lord showed me that I didn't truly believe that He loves me.  I sat in a room full of women watching the Beth Moore simulcast on "So Long Insecurity" and weeped like a baby as He exposed my prideful heart to me.  I couldn't believe the truth He was showing me.  How was it possible?  I had even stood before women and taught about His love.  But the evidence could not be denied.  I was insecure and pridefully felt that His love couldn't possibly cover my multitude of sins.

So here I am, one unsuspecting night, sitting in Rich's truck...listening to my favorite song for the 3rd time in 15 minutes...and there is comes...the line that took my knowledge of His love to another level..."There is no other I love more than you."  "So come, my beloved, come."  "Come in my courts, I am calling you"...(I'm fighting back tears as I type.)  You see, I still had a touch of that pride left.  I still had a smidgen of belief that there were other people that He loved more because...well...they are just better Christians than I am.  You've got Billy Graham, Beth Moore, Peggy Fitzhugh, Dora Eason, Melba Meyers...my list went on.  But He was breaking that mindset that night by telling me "Sweety, I do not love Billy Graham more than I love you.  I love you both the same."  The revelation was water to my soul.

He loves me so much that He calls my name and invites me into His presences.  "if your name isn't known, then it's a very lonely feeling."  ~ A Wind in the Door

My Father knows me by name.  The Maker of the Universe...the Great I AM...knows me and calls me.  He chose me.  There's no denying His love.  I simply want to grow in it....bask in it...

An Honorable 40th Birthday

We are a really fun-loving family that thrives off of joking with one another.  In our family, if we aren't picking on you there's a problem.  However, when I started thinking about Rich's 40th birthday I just couldn't stand the thought of doing the typical over-the-hill, black balloons and RIP tombstone 40th birthday party.  That was not the message I wanted to send to my sweet husband.  His life is far from over.  In fact, as I stated in his invitation, his life is just getting started.  I wanted his party to be a celebration that mirrored what God was saying about him.  I wanted everyone there to see how far he has come over his 40 years.  I wanted everyone there to recognize that "they ain't seen nothin' yet"!  The Lord is growing him, blessing him, and promoting him.  His musical abilities are still increasing.  His wisdom and knowledge continue to blow me away.  His preaching abilities are ever growing.  The anointing of the Holy Spirit continues to flow down over him.  His love for his children holds steady and he continues to refine his skills at being a Godly husband. 

Simply put...he's getting better and better and better.  Not necessarily "getting better with time".  It's just not that simple.  He's getting better because he's crucifying his flesh every day (some times multiple times a day).  He's spending time in the Word.  He's sacrificing selfish ambitions in order to serve within the Body of Christ.  He's loving me like Christ loves the church.  He's a daddy that's there for his kids and for many spiritual kids...it's not always easy when you feel like you're spread thin.  He's making intentional choices to be a man that is full of righteousness, peace and joy.  He's a warrior.  He's a friend.  He's a servant.  He's an amazing man that will not be denied the promises of God.

He is clearly NOT over-the-hill...

So we decided to celebrate his roots.  We threw a big ole' Mexican fiesta.  Sixty of our closests friends came out to honor him.  Had I opened up the party to any and everyone that loves him, I would not have been able to fit them all in the room.  I'm not kidding...he is loved by so many people!  Bryan and Kassie Atwood at The Woodshed catered some great food and I filled in with some side dishes.  I have to give a shout-out to Bryan...the food was great as always!  The sweetest part (no pun intended) is that my sister-in-law, Carolyn, made two homemade Carrot Cakes.  They were oh-so-good!  Kassie had another lady make a homemade German Chocolate Cake and I made a really yummy Blueberry Cream Cake with a Lemon Glaze.  Needless to say, I don't think anyone left the party hungry.  But that's the way we do things.  We want to feed you til you pop.

My friends were so great about chipping in and helping with decorations, serving food, clearing tables and photography.  Jenny worked her bottom off making sure the food stayed stocked on the buffet line.  She graciously helped me serve people.  She helped clean up.  All of that after fighting a 2-year-old at a high school football game for 3 hours and staying up late on Friday night to help decorate.  She's such a trooper.  Then there's Bobby and Melanie which drove 3 1/2 hours after work on Friday, attended the football game, then showed up to help decorate until after midnight.  Bobby saved me from climbing up a really tall ladder (yes, I'm afraid of heights) and Melanie did a great job directing his activities to make sure all of the decorations were just right. Ken and Jenn were also there to help put out tables after a long day at work.  They've got mad set-up and clean-up skills! (They were sooo tired, but came out anyways because they just love us that much!)   I can't forget Steve and Lisa who took pictures and I can't wait to see them!  Steves an amazing photographer and Lisa is really great at putting them together in electronic scrapbooks.  Last but not least, I cannot overlook Matthew and Chelsea.  They were in charge of the "plethura of pinatas" and they delivered!  Not only did they supply enough pinatas to fill up my backseat, they also brought in the best fake mustaches, sombreros and sarapes...oh, and I can't forget the chili pepper beaded necklace.  They showed up decked out in their Mexican costumes and passed out the little mustaches to anyone that would stand still.  All of this after driving 5 1/2 hours to be with us.

To conclude, I have to mention how honored Rich was when he was roasted and toasted by a group of men that are so special to him.  Kohlten, Jerome, Ken, Chris, Bobby, Matthew and my dad.  Every one of them has played an important role in Rich's life and they all hold a very special place in his heart.  I think one of the greatest moments for Rich was when he had the opportunity to publicly honor my grandfather for being such a Godly role model for him.  He and my dad took Rich in like their own grandson/son and loved him and taught him so much.  My children and I get to reap the benefits of them pouring into Rich.  "Thank you" will never be enough.

BTW...The day was rounded off with the first Razorback football game of the season.  It was only fitting that they won the game...in honor of Rich's birthday of course!