Hope Beyond Measure

What, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living!

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring.  Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

Psalm 27:13,14 (amp)

Hope...a word that we throw around without regard to its power.  "I hope you get to feeling better."  "I hope things work out for you."  "I hope my insurance covers this medicine."  "I hope I don't have to stand in line very long."  "I hope my son has friends when he's older."  Hope is powerful.  It's so powerful that medical professionals recognize it as an crucial element in the healing process for patients.  It has been studied and documented that patients with hope outlive those without hope.  And woe to the person who has no hope!  I have someone in my life that claims to be an atheist.  Recently I thought about her and how hopeless of a life she must lead.  She believes she has no savior...no God at all, there's no concept of redemption from sin, no eternal life to ponder...we just cease to exist when we die (or so she thinks), no one to lean on when people have betrayed or deserted her.  No one to call out to when disaster hits. Nothing. Just her and the temporal things she can lay her hands on here on this earth. 

According to the world, hope is a feeling...a wish or desire that something will happen (or not happen).  But as followers of Christ our hope is far more foundational than a simple feeling.  Our hope is rooted in a God that has proven His love and devotion since before the days of the Earth.  Hope for us is a trusting expectation that the Lord is going to stay true to His promises.  That He truly is the same yesterday, today and forever.  That the same God that parted the sea for Moses and the Israelites can also hear our prayers and move mightily on our behalf. 

I love how David talked about hope in the above scriptures.  David certainly understood what it meant to hope in the Lord.  When you consider his life, how else would he have made it through that life had it not been for hope?  And realize that he didn't lose hope when things didn't turn out as he thought they should.  When, in the natural, it seemed that God had turned His back on David.  In fact, David got up each time, dusted himself off and continued to follow God.  THAT is when you realize that hope is more than a feeling.  If hope was merely a feeling, David (or we) would never get back up, with trusting expectation, after something didn't go as we expected.

Hope is not a feeling.  Feelings are temporary and can misguide us.  Hope, the kind that comes from a relationship with Christ, is a deep-rooted, trusting expectation that my God will be our rear-guard.  He will cover us in times of trouble.  He will supply all of our needs according to His riches in glory.  He will give His angels charge over us.  He will go before us and prepare the way.  He has equipped us with everything we need to fulfill our purpose.  He will rebuke the devourer from our lives.  He will bless us exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever imagine.  He will love us with an agape love so deep that we can never reach the end of it.  He will forgive our sins and never recall them again.  He will heal us.  He will never leave us nor forsake us.  He has given us victory through Jesus Christ...and He has prepared a place for us where we will spend eternity with Him.  (Whew)

Here's the thing.  I came out here today to blog...not really knowing what to say.  When I opened blogspot I noticed a new blog in my feed about children with disabilities not having friends once they reach about 10-years-old.  This struck a nerve with me because that is one thing that is a concern for our son.  I began reading it and thought, "Where is our hope for his future?"  Aspergerians struggle with maintaining close friendships.  We've known this but have hoped that he would be the exception to this because he is so high-functioning.  But within seconds my mind was hijacked by the enemy and I began playing out all of the "nightmares" and "what ifs".  Then, the Holy Spirit said, "WAIT..STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS!"  A blog by another mother of a disabled child nor the diagnosis made by a doctor have any bearing on what the Lord says about him.  We have hope.  True hope that he will have friends.  He will not be lonely.  He will not turn to addictions to cope with being "different".  He will not run with the wrong crowd.  He. Will. Not.  The Lord has already blown our minds with how far He has taken Reid and how He has used that little fella.  He turns 8 next week.  We will continue to "wait for, hope for and expect the Lord" to continue what He has started in Reid.  We look forward to his future with hope and great expectation.  Our hope is not a feeling...it is a foundational truth in which we can stand firm and believe that God has carved out a very special place in history for Reid.  Afterall, the Lord spoke to Richard before we ever conceived and told Richard that he would have a son and his name would be called Fearless.  That doesn't sound like an unhappy, lonely boy to me.

Man Made vs. God Made

This past weekend we were tremendously blessed when a friend of mine gave us two tickets to the 2012 Cotton Bowl where our beloved Arkansas Razorbacks were playing Kansas State at my hubby's dream stadium.  It was too good to pass up!  We threw our plans together and rushed off to Dallas bright and early that Friday morning.  We joined a convoy of many other Hog fans phenatics on I-30 all the way into Dallas.  We were excited and felt completely honored to be among the 30,000 - 40,000 other Arkansas fans that weekend.  The excitement gushing from Rich was almost more than our little Honda could hold.


This was a dream come true for my man.  As much as he loves the Razorbacks, he equally loves the Dallas Cowboys.  He has followed them since he was 3-years-old (No exaggeration...watching the Cowboys with his dad are some of his first memories!)  How much better could you get than your home team playing in the stadium that you have been dreaming to see...for the Cotton Bowl!?  It was as though God had reached down and created that very situation just for my man.  Although I've told my friend a hundred "thank you's"...she just really doesn't know what this meant for us.


As we arrive at the stadium and begin to walk around we begin to understand the size of this place.  It is huge.  No really...try walking around it...it's huge.  And everything about it is proportional to its overall size (including the price of a hot dog and Coke Pepsi soap in a can 20 oz cup loaded with ice.)  When we first get inside we are overwhelmed with smells from concessions, lights, noise of the sound system and voices.  And then we see IT...the megatron TV screen suspended above the football field.  It's quite impressive as you're able to see every pore on every face that hits the big screen.  It became clear throughout the game that nothing goes unnoticed on that screen.  Every look...every word muttered...every glance of the eyes...every furrowing of the brow...every type of body language...every missed call by the referees was very apparent...no one could escape.  It was simply awesome!  Suddenly our 46" TV seemed so small and insignificant. :)


But that's what Jerry Jones is known for, is he not?  (Well, that and apparently a lot of other things according to my Texan friends.)  Jerry does it big....go big or go broke must be Jerry's moto.  I bet there were a few times this past year that the "go broke" part was a little too close for comfort with the NFL union battle battle of greedier vs. greediest.  But Jerry takes it to another level in whatever he does.  He likes being at the top...owning the best...being the best...He's kind of like the godfather of the NFL.


As I was sitting in the stadium, I could not help think about this...there is no comparison between mad-made works and God-made wonders.


God has given man the ability to create wonderful things.  Many of them beautiful.  Many of them more powerful than we often know how to handle.  Some of them larger than life...some smaller than the eye can see.  None of them as amazing as God's creation.  Try as we may, no man-made creation will ever trump this creation...

While a 160' x 72' TV is impressive...God's creation is where I want a front row seat. 

What a wildly wonderful world, God!
You made it all, with Wisdom at your side,
made earth overflow with your wonderful creations.


Psalm 104:24 (Msg)

How amazing is His creation!  What a wonderful gift to His children.  For thousands of years we have been trying to discover all there is to know about this complex world our God has created.  We have yet to scrape the surface.  He is intricate in His creations.  He takes nothing and makes it into stunning beauty.  He simply says the word and it is done.  He moves His finger across the sky and paints a picture that Michelangelo could only dream of painting. 

He did not create it so He could become greater and richer by "charging" us to enjoy His creations .... no, it is a free gift to us.  Just like His precious Son.  Free.  Everything free.

The heavens are the Lord's heavens, but the earth has He given to the children of men. Psalm 115:16

May we always remember to stop and enjoy this God-made creation.  May we never take for granted His Free Gift.  And may man-made works never be more glorified in our lives than God-made wonders!

Loss

It's never easy to say "see ya' later" to those that you love.  Nor is it easy to make a decision that brings such finality to an area of your life.  Combine these together and, well, it just makes for a hard week.  On December 12th, I was hit with the brutal truth of never being able to have children again when I signed a "Consent to Sterilization" form before being wheeled into the operating room for a hysterectomy.  "Sterilization" is such a cold and heartless word.  How many women have been forced through illness and other reasons to sign such a form?  To sign away one of the most precious privileges a woman can have.  Not that Rich and I were planning to have anymore children.  It's just the reality of it all.  The finality of it.  There's no turning back.  There's no more leaving room for God to move if He so chooses.  Yet, I'm reminded by the Holy Spirit that He most certainly could have moved differently had He wanted to.  Oh, His still small voice is the only thing that keeps the haunting voices at bay.  The reminders.  The nighttime nightmares of not being able to find your baby...the one you don't have.  This experience is certainly building my heart for those women who have faced this same situation...often under harsher circumstances.  The sense of loss is tremendous.


As I was recoverying from the surgery...just five days later, my sweet aunt passed away.  She had been battling MS for so long.  Her body was tired and everyone knew it.  It wasn't a shock when the call came, but none the less painful.  It is hard to see my uncle and cousin's family going through the pain of loss.  Burying your wife and mother just four days before Christmas just makes it more difficult.  But I will say that as my heart is sad, I absolutely celebrate with my aunt.  She was a Godly woman.  I can not hear the name Kay Author without thinking of my aunt.  She loved Kay.   She had so many of her tapes, CDs and books.  She left a Godly heritage to her family.  One that is being carried on by them.  One she is would be very proud of.  And through her life as a follower of Christ, she has finally received that new body she so desparately needed.  Today, she is dancing with the saints on the streets of gold.  She is singing.  She is waving her arms as a banner of holiness to the Lord.  All things she has not been able to do for so many years.  She is free.  THAT will always make me smile when I think of her. 


The day after my aunt passed away, a very dear friend lost his battle with cancer.  I say "lost" but in all actuality he was certainly the winner.  He too was a devoted man of God.  Mr. Roy will always hold a special place in my heart.  He was an old Marine that could "jerk a knot in your tail" but at the same time love you like nobodies business.  He took to Rich and I...we were always so blessed to have him speak into our lives.  He was a man of wisdom and solid truth.  He operated in honor, integrity and love.  He leaves behind one of the sweetest wives anyone could ever know.  It will be our responsibility to look after her...what an honor to help cover her until she can be with him again.  My only regret was that his funeral was on the same day as my aunt's...so we missed it.  I wanted so much to honor him by being there.  He was a man that didn't get tied up over nonsense so I know he would tell me to just dust off my feet and keep moving.  He wrote a letter to the church before he passed away.  I can't wait to hear what was in that letter.  I know that the way to truly honor him is not to be front and center at a memorial service but instead to live a pure and holy life...one that he would be proud of.


Three losses in less than a week.  Three losses where the Lord will be glorified...only, in all honesty I wish He had picked another way to be glorified.  He has taught me much (and continues to teach me) through the healing process of these losses.  Lessons that I will learn and carry through the rest of my time here on this Earth.  I see the light and the glory in the earthly deaths of my aunt and friend.  I see the Lord glorified in how He brought me from the threshold of a life-threatening illness.  I will simply have to trust Him with the rest.  As I battle the internal pain, I pray that the light will soon burst forth from the darkness.

Daughters and Pinterest

I have done a terrible thing.  I have introduced my daughter to Pinterest.  But instead of her getting her own account, she is using mine.  I now have a board titled "Things That Remind Me of Tori".  It was fun for a day.  My dearest Tori, please get your own account. 

THIS....

IS NOT MY STYLE!



However, this...

unfortunately is...



Protecting the Holidays

Ellen:  Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.

Every holiday season, Rich and I try to watch the ever-so-hilarious movie...National Lampoon Christmas Vacation.  (The edited version, of course.  We tried once to rent the movie and watch it.  We didn't realize just how much language was cut out for the TV version.  Wow!  So we're very glad to have DVR this year.)  We love this movie, as millions of other Americans do.  Why?  Why do we find it so funny?  Well, it's because the truth is what makes a joke or movie funny.  We can relate to the "hell" that is portrayed in this movie.  Many of us have elderly people in our families that speak their minds, have habits and functions that are less-than-pleasant.  Then there's "that" uncle or aunt that is just so very different from the family core and usually brings excitement (and often division) to the scene.  And who can forget the teenagers that spend their entire holiday trying to escape the visiting family.  This is the one time of year you will find them united in their efforts to escape even if it means that brother and sister must cooperative with one another.  Oh but wait, there's more...the in-laws.  How great is it to deal with the sarcastic, know-it-all father-in-law and the controlling mother-in-law?

All of this for the sake of getting a check mark on the "Family Duties" checklist of life. 

We may walk away feeling robbed, abused and pure-dee mad.  The days leading up to the "joyous celebration" are filled with unpleasant planning conversations, late night discussions with the spouse about what happened last time and how things are shaping up to be just as miserable, the dredging up of old memories and fights that have caused a root of bitterness to set up in us, feelings of dread and even anger and the overall attempt for many in the room to ignore the fact that if everyone was honest they would admit that they would rather be getting a root canal.  In essences, NO ONE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME!

The joy gets sucked out of the holiday.  Our children are robbed of creating wonderful holiday memories.  We allow the curse of bad holidays to continue.  We spend the next few days repenting for our thoughts, words, feeling and actions.  We forget that Christ should be in the middle of each holiday.  Maybe we don't forget that He's the reason, but we sure do wonder when He's going to show up!  Am I speaking to anyone?  (All three of you, that is.)

How do we protect our holidays?  How do we break this cycle, tradition...curse?  "Curse" may seem like a strong word, but that's exactly what it is.  Words have been spoken countless times by us and other family members that have cursed our family holiday gatherings.  If the above even partly describes your family gathering (and it's been that way since you can remember) then your family is operating in a curse.  Some can remember a time when family gatherings were good but then something happened that changed everything.  Now what ever happened stands in the way of you all enjoying one another.  If it isn't resolved soon, it will become a curse that is passed down to your children.  They will then exercise this same "tradition" with their children.  If the curse is going to be broken, we can't wait for someone else to do it.  We must be "that person" that puts their spiritual foot down and says "NO MORE".  We must start with repenting for our words and attitudes (maybe even actions).  We have to then verbally break any curses we see.  We have to take back the ground that satan has stolen from our families.  Then we have to walk in the belief that the others will soon follow.  If they don't, then we must decide that "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  Even when that means being the only ones in the room that make an effort to change the "climate".

Breaking the curse isn't easy.  I should know, I've been trying for years.  I type this today feeling defeated over a holiday season that hasn't even started yet.  I attempt to tackle each year with hope, joy and belief that this year is going to be different.  Only to have resistance come from areas that should be marching forward with me, not against me.  We have tried to change things in our family.  Many of them were big epic failures.  The enemy made his way in and robbed us each time.  Sometimes we recovered well, got up and started over again.  Other times, we joined in the enemies plan and came out swinging only to "tear down our house with our own hands".  What it is going to take is biting our tongues (a lot), holding our tempers, being servants to others and being the one that brings the fun back to the holidays.  WE are the ones that must protect the holidays.  We must take this battle on, otherwise all will be lost. 

As parents, we are responsible for our children.  What kind of holiday memories are we creating for them?  I will tell you that as their protector, it is mine and Rich's responsibility to protect them...even from their own family at times.  We do believe that there is a line where grace and understanding stops and protecting the child by removing them from the situation begins.   Short of them being in harms way or experiencing damaging words, sights or actions, we want them to understand that family is important.  We are often tempted to say, "Fine, we just won't go this year."  (Maybe that's the correct decision for your family situation.)  But we do not want them growing up not understanding the importance of loving people regardless of that person's weaknesses.  "The world knows how to love the lovable...there is no medal for doing that..."  We don't want them to run from difficult relationships (unless they're in danger, of course).  With all of that said, we also strive to protect their holiday memories by insuring that they have plenty of good memories that stem from our immediate family traditions.  Traditions that we will carry on with our grandchildren.  One day, the curses of ole will be nothing more than life lessons that cause us to continue to protect the holidays.

May we all walk in holiday victory this year!

Satisfaction Guaranteed

I just came from a meeting where the people at the table clearly find their satisfaction in their work (and hearing themselves talk).  I found myself thinking of how easy it must be to drown yourself in your work, thinking all along that you'd found the source of happiness.  How easy it is for satan to deceive us into thinking that "this is IT...you have arrived"!  While our work is certainly important, no matter what we do for a living, scripture tells us to work as unto the Lord.  Our witness is walked out at work.  The talents and giftings bestowed upon us by our God are to be shared with others...always with the intent of the glory given to God.  But that job (or anything else in this world) is not capable of being our sole source of satisfaction.  As much as I love my work,  I believe in it tremendously, it could never fulfill those deepest places of my life where only the Lord can satisfy.  I could certainly spend hours upon extra hours pouring over work literature, books, magazines, white papers and such.  I could network at every event.  I could work until late at night.  I could go back and get a Phd in...something. (And don't get me wrong, bettering yourself is never a bad thing.)  I just know that none of those things could ever bring the satisfaction that the Lord brings to my life.  One place of ministry for me is certainly work, but my work doesn't define me.  Christ defines me.  That's where my satisfaction comes from.  Sinking my roots, deep into His living water, is my source of strength, joy and satisfaction.  Sitting in a rain shower of His love quenches my thirst.  The world's "stuff" can't come close.  Anyone saying, "I can't get no satisfaction" needs to meet my God.  His satisfaction is guaranteed!