I watched her as she stood in the crowd of worshipers. I sensed that she felt isolated and out of place. It was as if she were standing outside, watching through a window, as her brothers and sisters in Christ feasted at His table...a table where she should be sitting. All she could do was stare at her chair that sits empty as it waits for her return. Her tormentor whispered lies laced with hints of truth into her ear. He numbed her with shots of shame and circumstance.
I could see the battle raging inside of her. She knew that she belonged there. She has experienced the love, peace, joy and forgiveness of the King that they were all worshiping. After all, she is the apple of His eye...and she knows it. Her spirit was crying out to worship God, but hurt and anger stifled her willingness to show affection for her King. So she stood by and watched. Occasionally, her spirit would win for a moment and her leg would bounce to the music. She stood awkwardly not knowing what to do with her hands. Normally, they would be raised in worship. So she clinched them together at her waist, as if she were holding them hostage.
In the past few months, life has pulled the rug out from under this young woman. Her world has been shaken. Her faith is being tested. She is confused, angry, scared, and hurting. She wants life to be back as she once knew it. She watches as foundational people in her life are stricken with ailments. Some of her friendships have become questionable. She struggles with the absence of a parent. All that she has believed about her King has come into question. She's flat out angry at Him. She doesn't give a rats butt about praying right now. So she turns to temporary soothers. Things and people that help her forget...help her medicate the pain. But those temporary soothers lose all their power when she stands in the presences of her Abba Father.
My heart aches for her. I love her more than she truly knows. I think of her often. I love on her every chance I get. I pray for her and reach out when I feel the Holy Spirit leading me to do so. I make sure she understands that I get it. That I'm not trying to instantly fix her but instead I'm walking this journey with her. I try to balance grace and truth as I speak encouraging words to her. I want to see her walk out on the other side of this suffering a much stronger woman of God. I want to sit next to her at the King's table as we worship Him together.
This young lady has more people praying for her than she could ever imagine. The enemy wants her to think that she's alone in her suffering. But if she were to turn around and look behind her, she would see a mighty army of Godly people covering her in prayer...supporting her in battle...washing her wounds with the healing power of God's Word.
One day soon, I will see my sweet friend rise up from the ashes and become an oak of righteousness. Until then, I will cover her in this storm.
